You knew I was strong.
But you noticed that I did it so naturally that I didn’t notice.
And so you found a way into my sacred place.
Where in your words I saw only truth.
And you built my trust until I was high.
Perhaps too high, to realise what you had been planning.
One day you withdrew it all.
Panicked, I cried for a word from you.
But you only fed me with words to your convenience.
To please you.
To comfort you.
To stroke your ego.
To counsel you.
To cheer you on.
To worship you.
But a little yellow bird flew by my window.
She sang a little song I’d long forgotten.
One that I used to sing, dancing to my own party.
I wanted to sing along with it, but my hands and feet had strings on them.
I needed to do something, before you woke up.
So I found some scissors and cut myself loose.
I bled, but I was free.
From your constant disappointments.
From your lies and excuses.
From making me feel sorry for my own natural magic.
From your downgrading my success.
From your sexual trickery.
From your self-oppressive mind.
From your cowardice.
From everything that is you.
I struggled to walk towards the bird.
Bleeding, but with a smile on my face.
The little bird sang.
Her words healing my wounds and strengthening me.
Suddenly, I realised.
All along, the door had been open.
For me to leave.
Whenever I remembered who I really was.
The strong, magical, loving one who scared you.
I am free.
From everything you.
Let her gather among sisters.
Dropping her cape at the door.
Here, she can be in her natural element.
Soft, vulnerable, open and beautifully feminine.
Her feelings, welcome
Her thoughts, unlimited.
Her laugh, as loud as she wants.
Her words, healing.
She’s a young African woman.
Finding her voice.
One story at a time.
Betty the Bean
So a few weeks ago, I planted Betty the bean in the backyard. She is a special bean because she can produce about 300 beans even in a tiny space!!! I had to search for a safe place for her to grow and I found it. But it took her longer than an ordinary bean to germinate.
I was afraid that she wouldn’t make it. The rains fell upon the ground for a number of days and I kept checking up on her every morning and evening. At last, she sprouted off the ground but some ants ate up one of her food reserve on her cotyledon.
Still, I kept watering her and feeding her some organic manure. Monday morning this week, as I brushed my teeth I went straight to the backyard and saw Betty standing tall and strong with two whole leaves 🙂
She’s now a strong little seedling!!!
In my journey to discovering my purpose, I keep facing challenges that make me doubt if that great purpose is really for me. But even when the time takes longer than usual, even when stormy seasons almost drown me, even when adversity tries to bully me… I still believe that by standing my ground, I’ll break through the tough times.
I’ll soak up the good from all that’s around me and turn it into a motivation to help me get to the next part of the journey.
It’s not easy, but after coming this far, it’ll only be silly to give up hope when everything in me is already showing that little by little I’m almost there.
Do you feel like a Betty bean today?
Be strong, courageous, and believe in your able roots.
I’m sitting at the top of a high crater that surrounds Lake Naivasha like a cylindrical tower studded with lush greenery. In silence, I absorb the magnificent sound and scent of nature in its glory.
Below, beautiful ripples over the Lake Naivasha and Rosa a lonely flamingo standing on one leg in a distance.
Over the crater, welcomes a carpet of green fertile land with cows grazing and their shepherds guiding them.
The wind blowing, leaves rustling, I sense the comfort of new friends around me.
Suddenly, I realise that I am right where I need to be in this moment.
Ready to start a new chapter of my life that gives me permission to obey the longing voice in my heart – PURPOSE.”