The Uuuhs and Aaarghs of my life

Archive for the ‘Poetry’ Category

Finding Her Voice

Let her gather among sisters.
Dropping her cape at the door.
Here, she can be in her natural element.

Soft, vulnerable, open and beautifully feminine.

Her feelings, welcome
Her thoughts, unlimited.
Her laugh, as loud as she wants.
Her words, healing.

She’s a young African woman.
Finding herself.
Finding her voice.
One story at a time.

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Love is Risky

When it comes to real love, “Conviction and Convenience don’t live on the same block,” as Lisa Nichols would say.

See, when you love someone, you actually give them permission to break your heart.
Are you willing to love, still?

When you love someone, it unearths some deep wounds you never thought you had.
Are you willing to love, still?

When you love someone, it pushes you to be vulnerable with someone with things that literally scare you.
Are you willing to love, still?

When you love someone, you wire your mind to see relationship challenges as opportunities for new lessons as building blocks.
Are you willing to love, still?

When you love someone, you heal by practice. Dangerously loving someone new or anew, without knowing if they’ll stay for life.
Are you willing to love, still?

When you love someone, you hurt in places that dig deep, to build new depths of imperfections from which you could love.
Are you willing to love, still?

You could fly.
You could land on a soft place.
You could fall rock bottom.

But your heart will always grow stronger in it’s capacity to love deeper and fearlessly.

Are you willing to love, still?

Ayuma

Too Woman to Love?


As I write this, my heart is broken.

Broken for I’ve recently recovered from a season where my heart was broken.

Broken as I now to witness yet another good woman’s heart break.

Break with grief after her beloved and family suddenly woke up blind to call her a “bad mother.”

Bad mother? What does that even mean? 

Mean to a woman who carried this child in her womb for 9 months. 

Months of pain, uncertainty, sacrifice, love and hope.

Hope that her baby would be welcomed into a safe haven of love.

Love that has now turned bitter, selfish and cold.

Cold as the prison cell she had to live in, 2 weeks away from her baby.

Her baby who’s now kept away from her embrace.

Embrace that she’s now fighting for in court.

Court that seems to traditionally see her on the losing side.

Side that’s not black, immigrant, nor minority.

Minority because her legal fees are out of this world.

World that would let a mother with a grieving womb fight for the baby she grew in it. 

It is unacceptable.

Unacceptable, yet here we are.

Are you willing to help get back her baby by holding her hand? 

Her hand that desperately longs to hold her baby again.

Again, are you willing?
Donate now to her GoFundMe campaign!

Link: https://www.gofundme.com/help-me-get-ami-back

All isn’t All

All is not All
Oh, how heavy the load of our longings when we make them the responsibility of One.

Oh, how heavy the load of our hope when we make it the responsibility of One.

Oh, how heavy the load of our dreams when we make them the responsibility of One.

Oh, how heavy the load of our deepest of trust when we make it the responsibility of One.

Oh, how heavy the load of our purest of love when we make it the responsibility of One.

One that isn’t ourselves.

One that isn’t God.

One that just can’t make us whole.

One that genuinely can’t be strong enough to carry it all, even if they truly care.

One who deceives us that All they’ve got it All.

All is not All.

Goodbye Seattle


Night’s at bay, and I can hear the moon calling.

As I look outside the cafe window, sipping my coffee.

I wait, looking at the reflection of my yellow dress.


I long for an awakening – a purple moon, a train of shooting stars, and perhaps… a sun popping out of a box of gravity.


But as the evening moon rises, I realise it’s too late.

Your spectacle is over, and I showed up shy of a coffee with you.

I stand up and look back,

All along, I realise, I’d been trapped on the inside, as you danced outside with the one dressed in a green dress.


It’s strange, 

How your towering space needle once marvelled me.

Now, it grieves me to see your silhouette skyline.

A horizon I knew I could never reach.

A moment I never lived out.


I wish, for a moment,

You stopped the rhythm, broke the window and called me to join you in dance.


But the evening moon is calling,

Louder and louder.

And I’ve answered.


Goodbye Seattle.

The beautiful city that was never mine.

A Last Dance in the Rain

Dancing in the Rain

a last dance in the rain

 

It’s raining outside,
And the sound of gentle drops on my window is beautiful and calming.

So I push back the curtain,
Peek out the window with nostalgic wonder.

And I’m met with a blue-grey blanket of rain,
One that paints a sweet memory of us, silent, listening to our hearts beat.

It’s hard to believe,
All I can sense of you now is hidden in pockets of nature.

Yet still,
Feel robbed of a chance to encounter our nature.

Days go by,
These memories, I fear, will start to fade.

As I dream of a time when you were the rain,
And I ran outside,
And we gently danced our last in nature’s embrace.

A Widow’s Wish

A Widow's Wish

A Widow’s Wish

Today, I thought about my dear Grandma Jenny and what life has been like as a widow for most of her adult life. She never remarried and at times I find her in the living room holding on to an old photo of my late grandfather.

Sometimes I wonder what crosses her mind when she thinks about her beloved. I wrote this reflection inspired by her and with a touch of foresight on my part:

I wish to grow old with my friend.
I wish to enjoy him still seeing me as the pretty young girl he saw when he first met me.
Oh! How I wish to dance with him every Sunday evening in our old house, dusted with sweet memories.
I wish to hold on to his old hands and still feel safe.
I wish to listen to his heartbeat and find home.
I wish to kiss him, burry myself in his embrace, close my eyes and enjoy his scent.
I wish to stare into his old eyes and know for sure that with him, I would do it all over again.

I wish to grow old with my friend, 
Father of my children, 
Home of my heart,
One whose love will forever echo even in my old heart.

~ For Grandma Jenny.

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