I got out of the house at 7PM just to go to the cyber and do a little shopping at the supermarket. Isn’t it too late? Shopping at this time…what you are now a shopaholic? A cyber…get serious? Now that’s what the over-thinking Ayuma would say.
Today, I spanked away the over-thinking Ayuma and gave voice to the free-spirited Ayuma. If you wonder who the free-spirited Ayuma is… This is she:
She says no to a real prince even though he is so cute and all, just because her heart says so. She chooses not to go to work on a working day, like today, just because she needed a break to think about the direction of her life and meditate. She gets out of the house at 7PM as it rains just to pour her heart on her blog not caring if someone reads it or not. She does what she wants to do. Whether people notice or not. Whether rain or shine. She only obeys the command of her heart; one that comes from her maker.
Well, my teeth started aching a few days ago right after my birthday. I was shocked and my little sister did not make it any better by name-tagging me “abomination.” She was shocked as to why at my age (if you do not know, it already, sorry, you won’t know it now) my teeth will be growing.
My mother cleared it all by using her medical expertise to inform the little girl that my wisdom teeth were growing and it is normal for a person my age.That still did not stop the little rugrat’s name-tagging me.
I thought about that word my mother called, “Wisdom teeth.” Is it a coincidence that they are called so? Or is it a reminder displayed by our maker on our anatomy about the direction in which our lives are supposed to head.
I went quiet for a while. Then the light-bulb popped at the top of my head. I think it was some sort of revelation in my life at a time that I would have taken another year of my life as a mere cycle.
In the last three months or so, my life has taken a tremendous course. An adventurous one which is full of hope yet so uncertain of its destination. This is what may have brought out the free-spirited Ayuma and grounded the over-thinking Ayuma.
I have asked why my life has taken this course; Why now? Why the people who keep coming? Why at that location? Why at this point in my life? Why when I have too many eggs in my basket? Why my family? Why my friends? Why these strangers?It became unbearable to think of all these things and so I went silent for a while.
Unfortunately, it started eating-up my attention. At home, at work… Yes! Even during a date. My mind kept drifting away to these endless streams of thoughts and questions. So I found a great solution. I decided to stop everything around me but the beating of my heart. What did she say? She told me, “We need to have a long talk!”
And this is why I relieved myself of the mountain of duties I always bury myself under and had a chat with the voice within. I felt relieved. As I write this, my heart literally feels lighter. I could even go out and dance in the rain…Seriously!
I guess what I have been trying to say with all these words is that sometimes you need to shake-off all the hard reality facts and duties to just be real with yourself and give yourself a big fat break.
If you do not give yourself a break now, when will you?
Okay, it is now time to go down the stairs and do a little shopping before it gets really late. Hey, a little chocolate won’t hurt a lady at this time…Yum!