Desiderata is a famous poem that was originally written by a wise man called Max Ehrmann.

I will not lie that I am the kind of person who reads so many collections of literature and try to look so intelligent by writing about them. I came to know this poem just this week when a friend suggested that I should read it.

At first, I would have ignored it just as I usually do with those messages that friends text you saying that you should forward to say 10 other people. Haha! Honestly, I do not fancy those messages. They make you feel like if you don’t send to those 10 people something bad will happen to you. Before telling me to text a certain 10 people, kindly send me credit too. Haha!

Onwards… Back to Desiderata.

So eventually I read the poem and I was touched by how simple the life lessons in this poem are, yet so serious. The poem comes out as warm advice yet still like a warning about how serious enjoying life is.

This made me reflect upon a phrase that has become too common amongst the Kenyan youth.

The phrase “It’s never that serious.”

What is “it?” If ‘it’ is pertinent to life, then people got to be playing with fire.

I wonder who came up with this phrase because there are too many dangers that come with that phrase especially when young people say it. My opinion is that whoever came up with that phrase was simply ignorant or inexperienced in life.

Yes, it may sound harsh but just think about this: If you have faced life in its true form which is often a wild blend of the beautiful and ugly, would you have the guts to say, “It’s never that serious?” I bet that your answer will be a No!

I do not mean that you live life with a stone face, never laugh, be busy all the time worrying or just live in isolation. No, that is not my point.

Let me take you for a short stroll through Desiderata in protest against the phrase “It is never that serious.”

Lesson 1:

‘Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.’

The fact is that life does not know the word slow. It is said that time and tide waits for no man. It sounds insensitive but this is so true. Think about how many plans you want to achieve, how many places you want to go, how many people you want to meet, how much help you want to offer humanity just with your skills, talent and beautiful mind. The fact is that even when you plan it all, there are some things that often don’t come through but you still have to plan anyway. So when it is a fact that the only constant thing in life is change, yet you have all these things to achieve, can you say, “It is never that serious?”

Lesson 2:

‘Listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.’

Have you ever taken time to just listen to somebody you would never listen to? Perhaps talk to somebody you would never talk to? Or even spend time with someone you would never offer your time? If you have done that and you got to learn something surprisingly important from them then the phrase, “It’s never that serious” would be nothing but a fallacy. I believe that no matter how boring, rigid, interesting or ignorant someone may seem, everyone deserves the chance to express who they really are and this takes a simple act of kindness to show that you care. But what if you missed the chance to learn just by saying, ‘It is never serious?’

Lesson 3:

‘Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.’

A perfect example for this one is in the work place. Have you ever had one of those bosses who don’t know patience or empathy? Yet all you want to do is achieve your career goals and earn a living. They call you all the time while screaming through the phone. They release their frustrations on you just to make them feel a little lighter. They pummel down your confidence just to make themselves feel superior. Those who refuse to acknowledge your efforts and reject rewarding your victories. If you have had people who make you go through hell when you are still on earth, only for someone to tell you “It is never that serious” this can deliver a serious punch on someone’s face.

Lesson 4:

‘Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.’

Have you ever been rejected? Have you ever felt left out? Has someone ever made you feel like you don’t deserve something you really wanted? Or maybe make you feel that being you is not enough so you have to try to be like someone else?

This is typical especially during childhood or when one faces setbacks in a social environment where they try to make new friends. When life offers you the chance to love only to end up with a broken heart, the journey to recovery is often excruciating. When life takes away a loved one for whatever reasons, the worst feeling to ever have is regret for taking things for granted. So if you understand what the above examples feel like, I am sure the phrase “It is never that serious” sounds like the stupidest thing on earth.

Lesson 5:

‘Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.’   

This one is a tasty one. If you know those fellows who look old but behave like children, this one is dedicated to them. These are people who just never learn. There are so many people who do not act their age; blokes who are 25 years who behave like 15 year old teenagers or maybe 30 year old ladies who behave like 20 year old college girls. Simply not amusing!

Moreover, there are fellows who have never hustled in life or learnt lessons attained from the bitter-sweet experience of adversity. They literally have no idea how ugly the other side of life is. Well, I know that before you leave earth, one must have an understanding of both sides.

In both of these scenarios, don’t even bother reminding them about the seriousness of life for life itself has a way of unveiling its lessons. And so, “It is never that serious until life teaches you that it has always been that serious.”

As I conclude, I would like to remind you that you really do not have to endure life and also play it safe; afraid of what the other side might look like. Enjoy life, no matter which of its faces it decides to show you.

Learn some more, laugh some more, live with no fear for in the end you will learn that the serious thing about life is taking the important things in life seriously. The most important of them all is LOVE.

The best lesson I learnt from the Desiderata is this one:

‘With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.’

I urge you all to read The Desiderata Poem by Max Ehrmann.

Yours truly,

Ayuma.   

Hmmm…

Come to think of it, just try repetitively pronouncing the word “Nairobi” slowly and clearly.

Do you hear “Na hiyo bei?” This is Kiswahili for “And that price?”

This expresses the discomforting feeling that one would get after being slapped with an expensive bill.

Sad but true, this has become the reaction that some Kenyan blokes get when faced with the challenge of dating a principled Kenyan lady. It is sad that some of our gents have unfortunately gone through some years of hard training in the wrong dating scene by some goons of girls called “chips fungas”, clandestines, prostitutes and even “gold-diggers” or “gewl-diggers” if you please. One thing these girls have in common is the slogan “cheap and available 24/7” which to my surprises is appealing to some fellows.

Taking a few steps back… Let me take the time to thank the good Kenyan gents who do a great job at taking care of your good ladies.

We wish there were surrogates of you. We have to give credit where it’s due. These are fine Kenyan men who are also known to be assertive in various areas of life like business, academics (though I don’t know what to say about Nyamira fellows) and just showing their best game. Kudos for the great showcase gents!

However, there is one area of life that over the years has been lacking attention.

The dating scene!

What happened to the good old African gentlemen who would stop at nothing to bring forth their best game to please their African ladies? It is a fact that a man is born with the spirit of a hunter. Every day is a fight in the territory he treads upon to claim the honorable title for himself in society as a real man; a warrior to be precise.

Just find out how your grandfather got to win your grandmother’s heart. Know what I mean?

Nowadays, whenever a guy is faced with the challenge of a good lady, what will flow through his mind is “Hawa wasichana wa Nairobi aka Na hiyo bei!” in English,

“These girls of the high price!”

It is so sad that before a common Kenyan bloke (rich or not) goes out for a date with a girl and probably whilst on the date he will probably be calculating every coin spent on the lady and expect some sort of compensation from the lady.

Since when did dating turn into a paid service?

At times I really wonder who benefits from these cheaply choreographed dating trends. The economy may be burning holes through your pockets but this is no excuse for a guy to be uncouth in the way he presents himself as a man in our society. In case you have not noticed, Kenya has become quite a sophisticated hub for business, academics, tourism, sports and may I add dating. Noticed the foreign blokes flocking in Kenya and claiming Kenyan ladies lately? Aha!

I love case studies, so here goes!

Let us look at two guys; Cliff and Ray.

Cliff’s date:

He calls the lady to meet up with him at Bata Hilton at 1pm. He does not mention the location of date so lady is forced to just use a public bus. He meets up with the lady and hurriedly walks with her across the street only to walk into a random Kenchic fast-food restaurant. The lady’s perfume at this time has been overpowered by the chocking fumes from deep-fried chips and chicken. They both have to queue and order for the calorie-infested food and Cliff asks the lady to pay for one item for he did not have enough cash to pay for their bill. They sit and try to have a conversation with constant interruptions of people asking for salt, vinegar or free chilli…Haha! The lady is so turned-off at this point and even worse the bloke eats so fast and insists that he has to rush back to work before his boss finds out he is missing. The lady stops eating and just walks out of the place smelling like a chimney of smoked fries and chicken and gets the first bus she sees to head home. Cliff then sends her a message saying he hopes she had fun and that they should meet soon. He then gets angry when the lady stops picking his calls and answering his text messages.

As Atwoli would say, “Mshenz…Yes!” or baba Jimmy would say, “Kubaaff!”

Ray’s date:

He calls the lady to find out how she is doing before he asks her out on a shopping date. This is a day before the official date he set with her 2days ago. The shopping date goes well, her items a little secret to the man and the day ends with Ray taking the lady home by taxi and leaves her at her door-step. The next day he calls her first thing in he morning to tell her that he will be expecting her to join him for dinner at a fancy Chinese restaurant for he knows she likes Chinese food. He made reservations on the day she agreed to go for the date with him. She takes her time to look dashing with some of the items Ray bought her and she goes the whole mile to wear her special 5-inch heels, a fancy dinner dress and some fine accessories. She doesn’t have to worry about trekking to the bus stop to get a matatu or bus looking that fancy. Ray has arranged for a taxi to pick her up at 5pm for he’ll be done with his office work and he has all evening to spend with her. At 5pm she heads for the restaurant and as she walks in Ray who was waiting for her takes the time to admire her and he stands up to kiss her cheek and tell her how beautiful she is. They sit at their private corner and the rest is an intimate cocktail of good food and wine, laughter and deep revelations of each other’s worlds. The night ends with Ray taking the lady home at a respectable time and makes sure that he leaves her at her door-step having introduced himself to her family to inform them that he has brought their girl back home safe. As soon as Ray reaches home he calls the lady to find out if she had fun and if she could join him for another date soon. Her answer is a definite Yes!

You can only demand time from a lady

if you invested in quality time with her in the first place!

I hope that you can now see the present state of the dating scene with Cliff, compared to the ideal situation with Ray. This is not a blog post that hates on Kenyan guys. Its aim is to identify and shun some of the embarrassing trends that some guys have picked having interacted with girls who got no class or high standards. Don’t get me wrong. High standards are not bossy or unrealistic. When a lady has high standards and chooses to spend time with you it means that she thinks the same of you. When you treat a lady like a queen she will treat you like a king. If you take the time to value the time of a lady she will take time to appreciate all your efforts. If you spend money on a good lady she will make sure that she values it. If you take time to look good for your lady even by charm she will also make an effort to look great for you and make every other man wish they were you. That is how dating ought to be.

Like it or not you never know who your wife is till you discover her with time. Meanwhile, as you date other ladies have in mind how you would like another man to treat your future wife. Then do the same with the ladies you date. It is your duty to take care of your lady and not just a favor you are offering her. Dating is a rollercoaster and it certainly gets back to you. Trust me, ladies talk! The best security a lady can get from her man is not only his love and trust but also praise from people he interacted with even in the past; including ex-girlfriends or ex-dates. History has a way of repeating itself especially whenever lessons are not learnt.

Dear Kenyan men, good ladies still exist. Do not treat every lady you meet like the cheap girl you last interacted with. And by saying cheap I enthuse on morals and principles and not monetary value. The more and more Kenya grows into a cosmopolitan the special values that men in our society are supposed to appreciate in our ladies get destroyed by those who are supposed to protect them. The good lady’s value is being ignored. But not quite, as foreign eyes and hearts have discovered the treasure that some Kenyan men have ignored.

This is not a hate message to my Kenyan brothers. This is just a warning against the bad behavior some blokes have made too common hence punishing the good lady who tries her best to survive in this jungle of a city so as to end up with the great man that some of you could be.

And to those cheap girls out there who got no class or morals in the dating scene, I warn you to play a game you can afford.

Step down and grow some manners!!!

This is to my fellow good ladies who value our principles and do our best to appreciate and make the men in our lives feel like the luckiest gents on earth… Keep it golden ladies!

Every queen has her king, wherever he may be on this globe.

Remember that when you give, you receive. When you treat a lady like a queen, she will sure treat you and appreciate you as a king.

Cheers to Kenya’s good ladies!

Yours truly,

Ayuma.

The Electric Eightees

This special post goes out to the vibrant human beings that were born during the electrifying 80’s. This is the generation that is shinning above most generations in today’s world. Just take a look at the unique and successful businesses, fashion industries, music charts and even art scenes. I am so proud to be and 80’s kid because I know that I belong to a generation that has so much positive energy to offer even during these times of great depression all around the world.

I was brought up in Kenya, so this is the context I shall use.

My early childhood memories are so vivid because I had no idea what was happening in the world around me but I just made the best of every unpredicted moment. These are some of the highlights that “We” the Kenyan 80’s kids would remember about our early days.

Sweet simple things

We came to appreciate the silly things people got to do. There were so many nicknames for everything. Some of us have never grown out of that habit. Most neighborhoods, schools or groups of friends had someone called “fatso” meaning fat guy, one called “firstbody” meaning bodyguard, “mbenye” meaning chatterbox and let us not forget “wasupuu” meaning those who used to like being worshiped for good looks, fame, family wealth or other silly reasons that we may never know.

There used to be so many sign languages. There was a particular one whereby people would rub their fingers to express their terms of friendship with others. Remember that? The engagement and index fingers meant “friends”, pinky fingers meant “temporary grudge”, all fingers meant “enemies” and if someone rubbed a folded fist against the palm of their hands it meant “WANTED” or “WAR” and one would go hiding for almost a whole week. Back then, if a boy liked a girl, he would just wink and she would get the message. A wink is not as important in relationships nowadays as it was back in the day.

Even when it came to transport we were the last Kenyan generation to experience the full-swing beauty of the Kenyan “mathree” that were mini-buses with poetic an colourful graffiti, cool lights and music marketing on the vehicles.  Also, we were the last generation to use the “ndururu” currency which was 5 cents and also the Kenyan 10 cents.

Old Kenyan phonebooth

If one had to make a call he/she either used a landline or a phone booth. There were so many queues in towns as people waited to make calls. If your coin was rejected at the phone booth, one would use a trick which was to rub the coin against a rough surface to gain friction and then have another try. Back then, telephone operators were so useful.

Special occasions used to be treated as such. The national shows were so beautiful and hyped up. If at all you saw someone with a moon-shaped paper hat you would know they had been to the show. Also, the art of face-painting was popular for kids. Let us not forget the photography sessions that would embarrass some of us if we were to see the poses we used to strike.

For those who had siblings especially of the same sex, when it came to fashion our mother’s did it all. From head to toe we would all match. For boys, the bamuda shorts and “Fila”, “Addidas” or “Nike” were the brands to go for and locally available via “mtumba”. For the girls, we can never forget the “Cinderella dresses”, stockings and some of “mom’s lipstick.”

Games

We would play games like “cha mama” for some reason I can remember people always picking me as a teacher. The shortest person was always the child, the cutest boy or girl were always dad and mom… Yep, I was never considered a mom… Haha! I was the teacher who would go drawing on walls, gates, cars and occasionally go climbing trees.  I guess that contributed to the not-so-princess image I portrayed. Other games included “rounders”, “kati or stopu”, “bladder”, ”hide and seek” and when it would rain we would get blueband tins and go fish tadpoles from the nearest pond thinking they would grow into fish only to see them develop into frogs. The shock we got! Yet still we went on fishing while expecting a different result.

Music

Everyday after school we would run home to watch Jimmy Gathu on “Jam-a-delic” or “MCM”. The music hits that today we call “Oldskool” were on replay.

The era of cassettes

We never had music CDs so we would use cassettes to record our favorite hits aired live on radio. Also, people used to keep music books where they would stick cut-out lyrics from the newspaper. So when you go for karaoke events and you spot people who sing flawlessly without reference lyrics, that’s an 80’s kid!

This is when the music industry in Kenya started changing face and it was amazing. I can remember watching the famous judge Ian Mbugua and his friend rapping or singing a tune, producer RK with his friends as Milele singing nisamehe, Eric Wainaina with “nchi ya kitu kidogo” and also Mercy Myra and friends singing the “Trust condom” advert that agitated most parents at the time. Internationally, the popular talk on music was so diverse; Shaba ranks for reggae; Tupac, Common, Dr. Dre and Notorious BIG for hiphop; Diana King, Baby face, 3T, Janet Jackson, Salt and Pepper, TLC, boys2men, Rkelly for RnB; U2, Lenny Kravitz, Goo goo dolls, The Cardigans, Nine days, LFO, Dido, No doubt, Bon Jovi, The cranberries, Aerosmith for rock and many others.

Television

We can never forget how television programmes were so popular. News with the likes of Catherine Kasavuli, Zain Verjee, Lydia Manyasi, Jeff Koinnge, Edward Kadilo and Njoroge Mwaura. Local productions like “Vitimbi”, “Tausi”, “Vioja mahakamani” and “Kinyonga”.

Shows like “Lady of the rose”, “The bold and the beautiful”, “Robocop”,  ”Detective Derrick”, “Neighbours”, Chuck Norris as “Texas ranger”, “Knots landing”, “Days of our lives” “Acapulco bay”, “Baywatch”, “Roswell”, “X-files” and “the young and the restless” were the sensation.

The cartoons that we liked were so many like Mickey mouse, Looney toons, Danger mouse, Ghost busters, Justice league, transformers and also “beast wars transformers”, Voltron, Power rangers, Fantastic four, Sky dancers, Care bears, Mr. Tin Tin, Pizza cats, Ninja turtles, Street sharks, The Adams family, The Simpsons, Garfield, Tom and Jerry and many more.

Rambo

The movies that hit included “Rambo”, “Titanic”, “Independence day”, ”Star trek”, “Top Gun”, “Men in black”, “Home alone”, “Labrynth”, “Fifth element”, “Ghost busters”, “Star wars”, “Planet of apes”, “Braveheart”, “Cruel intentions”, “Man on the moon”, “The lion king”, “Jurassic park”, “Anaconda”, “Godzilla” and “the matrix.”

Food

We are the generation that appreciated Kenyan food especially by the women in our lives. Meals like chapatti, chicken and pilau were not cooked on the regular. They were for special occasions like Christmas, National holidays or even birthdays.

Snacks were so many and creatively packaged. I can remember eating a toffee-like strip called “Goody goody”, also other fruity ones called “Fruit chew” and sweet powder called “dextrosol”. There were so many sweets like “butterdrops”, “koo”, “patco” “colacandy, fantacandy and jojo”. Cadbury chocolates were popular like “Supersnack Orange”, “Crunchie”, and “Fudge and mintchoc”. The House of Manji biscuits were the popular treat; Britania, Baring and some tiny button-like biscuits.

There were local tasty snacks at the local shopkeeper’s or market  like “mabuyu”, “kashata”, mango with chilly, “simsim” and “ice” which was basically frozen juice.

School

School used to be so much fun because all of the kids seemed to be your friends. At break time the traditional exchanging of food if you did not like yours. We had the chance to carry clay to school for art and craft lessons, before they got us play dough. During holidays everyone had to do homework and write compositions like “How I spent my holidays” or “Siku yangu ya kizaliwa” meaning my birthday in Kiswahili. But somehow everyone wrote about their trip upcountry to see their grandparents. Haha!

There were so many fun things to do. And the shows in Nairobi used to be so much fun then. Schools were properly taken care of especially by the then President; Daniel Arap Moi (retired). He used to provide free milk for schools that we used to call “Maziwa ya Nyayo” and if he happened to pass by your school there were so many treats he would give out and even money; obviously the teachers made away with most of it.

Books

The books were fun to read. I can remember these books? “Read with us”, “Hello Children”, “Masomo ya msingi”, “ladybird classic” books, and let us not forget the good storybooks (how the hyena got short hind legs, how the tortoise got a cracked shell, why ostriches don’t fly).

This is the generation of people who can probably sit down and appreciate watching Safaricom “Tinga Tinga tales”.

I have come to see many of my 80’s friends get to appreciate language and even rise up to become great writers, poets, spoken-word artists, musicians and lots more.

80's kids Rock!

I could go on but I would not be able to reveal the full awesomeness of being an 80’s kid. We are still taking over the world today but we will never forget the sweet memories that make our childhood golden.

Look out world! The next big thing near you is likely to always be an 80’s kid. Here’s to us 80’s kids… May our memories remain to inspire us and future generations. Cheers!

Yours Truly,

Ayuma.

*The pictures are not my own but simply used to capture the theme of the post.

New beginning

The term “second-chance” has evolved over centuries. However, its meaning has with time split into so many attitudes that humans try to identify with.

The danger here is that people often have sharply different attitudes towards the term. Obviously, this suggests that at the end of the day, one may make a good or bad decision based on the attitude one has towards the term when applied into real context.

So what exactly is a second chance? Is it a one-time affair or a continuous battle for humans?

Well, in simple language it means an opportunity to start-over new.

The main words that truly define the term are “opportunity” “start-over” and “new”.

OPPORTUNITY

Let us look at this wise saying to bring out perspective. It says, “There is no such thing as good luck. It is simply opportunity meeting a prepared man. ”

This means that if one should get a second chance, they should be prepared for the heat that comes with it as well as the greater responsibility one has to handle. When one is given a second chance, it could work for the good or work for the bad depending on one’s attitude towards it. This is a road that only the brave-hearted follow to find that which they need in their lives.

START-OVER

Well, after certain events that may lead to one seeking or being offered a second chance, it often means forgetting some things. One has to let bygones be bygones. One has to find significance in the mountain of scrap that was left behind after battle, like ruins of a tower that once stood tall. Yes, the tower is no more! Again, one’s attitude can determine whether the ruins can build a shoddier tower or a better tower than the previous one.

Forgiveness here is an essential tool for moving forward positively, yet to some, it may never be considered. This is not an easy phase to go through, but there are always consequences to the choices we make.

Of course, this means that hard work and careful thought has to be put into serious action whether it is for better or for worse.  Whether it is trying to remain number one or trying to become number one, significant amount of effort has to be put into practice.

NEW

This word can mean good news or bad news to different people. New could mean re-investment, hustle, vulnerability, time and uncertainty to some people. Yet, to others it might mean adventure, promise, healthy-challenge, lifetime investment, or even a gift.

One has to weigh what a second chance holds for them so as to truly know what risks one may have to take. Self-evaluation has never hurt!

It reveals a lot, even that which one never expected from oneself that may be either positive or negative.

Who exactly deserves a second chance?

Let us try to put this into context.

Would you give a second chance to a family member who did you wrong?

These are people that are bound to you by blood. You cannot wash it all way. Possibly, the unconditional love you have for them might over-power the ‘second chance’ aspect. Maybe because we are meant to forgive them no matter how much harm they do to us. Perhaps, this is not for their sake, but for your own sake; so that you can live with a lighter heart and soul.

Would you give a second chance to a friend who hurt you deeply and is not related to you by blood?

This to many may appear easy to say “No” to. But, really, would you deny them a second chance? Let us key-in the time and significance factors.

How much time did you invest in this individual? How much you got to know about an individual really matters. This can easily tell one if a second chance is valid or not. One can never run away from character. It never sheds like the leaves in autumn and grows afresh in the spring. The power of instinct is an essential instrument to evaluate the verdict. What you perceive is the answer.

How significant is the person to you?

This brings us to a sub-question…

Would you give a second chance to a stranger who did you wrong?

The quality and quantity of significance one has in your life determines whether they deserve a second chance or not. This separates them from being a friend or a stranger. You could get to discover amazing facts about the people you have around you. Maybe some have been strangers for all the time you have known them, even for years. But, some may have just seemed like ordinary people, but once you are separated from them, you feel like a part of your life is missing. That is what you call significance!

I have really tried my best to expound on this topic. Feel free to express any builds you may have. Sorry no photos this time, because the ideal images I would like you to reflect upon is the state of your heart.

Yours truly,

Ayuma.

Second chances are hard to give

Where did the woman go?

This post goes out to those with brave hearts. I got this from a friend; Esther Neema who truly expressed the need for ladies to get real with the hard facts of life. Men are not always to blame for the silly things some women do. If not careful, women often end up becoming their own enemies without even knowing it.

It takes some time to read the whole message but between the lines lies real truth that many are always afraid of accepting, maybe because of pride or just simple but dangerous ignorance.

I have always wondered why in my present society people are in such a hurry to get married, why so many feel empty if not in a relationship or why so many think sex is the answer to every relation you have and even sadly a determinant of who to tie the knot with.

After honeymoon, real work begins

It is sheer stupidity in my view.

This is simply because in the long-run, when the relationships often lead to a dead-end, it really comes out as sheer stupidity.

Why so serious and sure about this? Just read and in the end, you shall most certainly have your answer.

This lady is wise and I bet from experience.

July 25, 2011 – (PAULA ODHIAMBO)

Alright, my sisters… hold up, wait a minute, stop press…

Chivalry died. And for years, we’ve been trying to find the killer, but

whoever said this got it right: WOMEN KILLED IT.

The blame game is old. Let’s own up and try not talk about feminism. That

started decades ago, and we’ve gone over it thousands of times. Let’s talk

about us, here, now.

We may not all be guilty of all I’m about to say, but please permit me to

recreate the crime as I believe it happened:

Guilty

In becoming more materialistic, we shortchanged ourselves

At some point in time, pride took over and we slowly started to shortchange

ourselves by thinking we could do it on our own. It does not occur to us

that if anybody could do it on their own, we would not exist because Adam

would not have needed help. We have refused to let men provide, because

supposedly, anything a man can do, a woman can do better. They try, but

after being shot down, met with disdain and complaints, and feeling

unappreciated, those men who are like the seed that falls on rock or get

choked up by thorns, simply give up.

The more materialistic we became, the more distorted our perception of

provision. Now, provision is equal to money and status. And a big “package”.

If he has none, he is worth nothing. And if he has those but uji in his mind

and can’t speak a coherent sentence without cursing and colouring his words,

or boxing buildings Sonko-style, then he makes sense. The real man figured

he would rather remain a bachelor than subject himself to lifelong misery by

trying to impress she who cannot be impressed, and keep his property for

that one person (who never shows up) who wants him for him. I doubt we can

blame men.

Who needs men? You do girl...

So begins the vicious cycle. That woman who says “who needs men” but yet

craves the things that she can only get with a man, decides to invest in a

vibrator and two cats. I am not making this up. Need I go any further?

If women are equal to men, then please open your own door, change your bulbs

and fix your tyre.

Many women long for a man’s company, but are too proud to admit it to

themselves. “Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over

thee.” Have we ever asked ourselves what this verse in Genesis 3 means

(hint: it’s not necessarily sexual)? Things are messed up, and that’s why

people can open their mouths to talk about Kshs1.2 million.

We put it all out there

I’ll remind us again that Proverbs 7:10 says, “behold, there met him a woman

[with] the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart.” This tells me that

before the lines were blurred, there was such a thing as clothing that

belonged only to prostitutes.

Upset? Well… like it or not, we identify people by their clothing. Let’s

imagine you walk into a hospital and are told to have a seat and wait for

the doctor. Two men walk into the waiting room. One has a red helmet, red

overalls, gloves, and is holding a fire extinguisher. The other has a white

coat and a stethoscope over his neck. Who is the doctor? If you walk into a

convenience store holding a gun, with a black stocking mask over your face

and your eyes peeking out of two holes, you can’t blame the guy at the

counter for jumping out of his skin or calling the cops.

Sex buys you no man

So if you dress like a prostitute, who are you going to attract, and why are you angry that

he’s hitting on you?

Why should a man give you his jacket and get frostbite on your account if

you decided to throw a hanky over your chest and another one barely covering

your behind, knowing full well it would be a cold evening, that you’d be at

the movies and that cinemas are cold? Does chivalry mean someone always has

to suffer for your inconsiderate behavior? Some parts of your body belong to

one pair of eyes only, and it’s very bad manners to subject strangers to

certain aspects of your anatomy whether it’s perfect or full of

cellulite-dimples and stretch marks. I don’t care what photographer suggests

what pose, what your job demands, or what century you think I’m living in.

If you’re not a whore, stop putting it all out there. You can be decent and

beautiful. Don’t you know your price?

No surprise, then, is it, that we want to tweet our weddings and Facebook

our honeymoons and update everyone on every day of that one year of marriage

before divorce rears its ugly head. The honeymoon is no fun anymore; that’s

why many have time to even think about Facebooking their cruise and hotel

pictures. The wedding was just to legalize the sex and make things official

before the general public; the truth is you’ve experimented and are now

bored.

Keep to yourself

My dears, we can’t do life by putting all our business out there. The Bible

calls women to be discreet. Chaste. Keepers at home. Good. Obedient to their

own husbands (Titus 2:5). Please don’t put yourself out there for someone

else’s husband to use and dump. He might be single, but if he’s not married

to you, technically he is someone else’s husband. Show some respect to his

future wife.

We stopped showing GRATITUDE and began to MAKE DEMANDS

Has it ever occurred to you that your man is not your driver, doctor,

bodyguard, or baggage handler? Do you think he has to do all that?

Here’s a similar question: Did Jesus have to come and die for you? It’s

foolish to assume that any of us deserves salvation. It is the fact that we

absolutely do not deserve it that makes it so precious. The Bible tells us

in Ephesians that we should submit to our husbands as we do to the Lord

(Ephesians 5, 1 Peter 3). It takes a godly man to humble himself to become a

servant, but even servants require gratitude. If you thank your workers, as

I hope you do, then surely it is the least you can do to thank your man, and

not nag his ears out when he is two seconds late or point out the one thing

out of a hundred that he does wrong. Say thank you! It will not kill you! If

you’d rather not, then don’t complain when you find yourself all alone.

Nagging him only destroys you

We cheapened ourselves by getting the definition wrong

We forgot that chivalry is not about holding the door open, pulling the

chair out, or paying for the date or taking gum out of his mouth and

splitting it for us (because it’s very possible for a man to do these things

and still beat a woman to a pulp, for instance). So like the previous note

says, when we meet one guy who calls once, holds the door open, etc, we are

ready to give it all up because this one is a keeper. Right? How many

keepers can one woman give herself up to? Chivalry is about PROTECTING you.

It’s about BRAVERY. It’s not about paying for your dinner so he can sleep

with you. That’s the same thing people do on Koinange Street.

A chivalrous man should be brave enough to ask you to wed before he tries to

take you to bed. Period!!!!

“If you like it, then you should have put a ring on it,

oh-oh-oh,

oh-oh-oh,

oh-oh-oh-oh

oh-oh-oh…”

Er,

NO, NO, NO,

NO, NO, NO,

NO-NO-NO-NO,

NO, NO, NO!!!

First of all, put a ring on what? I don’t even want to know. All I know is

the ring comes FIRST. Call me whatever you want, but THE RING MUST COME

FIRST. Otherwise what’s the standard? Do you just sleep with him hoping he

will like it and put a ring on it, and how many times can this go on before

your conscience is seared with iron and your love has waxed ice-cold – and

NOBODY has given you even a “Chupa Chups” lollipop ring?

Keep your cookies in the jar

For what types of goods do we get free samples? Soup. Pens. Cheap stuff.

Have you ever seen the RIM or Apple or Nokia guys standing at a grocery

store aisle offering free phones? If they do, what’s your first instinct?

419, anyone? “Here, take this Blackberry Torch, and if you like it, come

back and pay for it later.” The first thought would be, “Ai… why is it free,

what’s wrong with it?” We need to know our price and conduct ourselves like

we have a clue.

No one buys a cow whose milk they can get for free. If you can get mabuyu

for 2bob, you’re not gonna bother where the mabuyu tree grows or gets its

water. If you think I’m lying, ask the next ten Kenyans you meet if they

know how to say “mabuyu” in English.

We forgot how to take genuine compliments

To this generation, a compliment is “You look sexy when you’re mad.” Some of

us would feel better if a random man on the streets said “You have such a

nice booty” than we would if someone genuinely told us “You have a kind

heart.” So we dress and carry ourselves in such a way as to coax such

compliments out of men. On the other side of the spectrum, some of us have

been so hurt that we see every compliment as an attempt to get something.

We listened to fake friends, and we’re letting our children do the same

Among the top fake friends are some of those magazines we stock up on every

month. We have left the raising of our children to TV and maids we don’t

know from Adam, so that we can get to the top of our careers. Why are we

surprised if our boys are raised to be something we don’t recognize? Why do

we act like we have no responsibility in the way men behave today? If we

want to see where we are going, all we need to do is take a look at our

friends. If we don’t like where they’re headed, we must change directions!

Change friends if you have to!

Love in all wrong places

We looked for love in all the wrong places

Men are not creatures you use to cure loneliness, lust, or an ungodly

perception of self. God does all the curing in this universe. You will not

find a chivalrous man in the club (especially not at 3am, and at 39 years of

age). It’s very rare now that you will even find him in church. Some of

these men who hide in church buildings every Sunday are the type you fast

and pray about before you open your mouth to say “hey.” Double-minded,

confused and using the name of God in vain. We’ve seen what’s happening to

pastors. Don’t think their apprentices are too far behind. You will not find

the right man until you find you, and you will not find you until you find

Jesus. That, my dears, as annoying as it is, as frustrating as it is to hear

especially if you’re over a certain age, is the truth.

Prayer gives you strength

We forgot to pray

Don’t talk about men being deadbeat if you have not prayed for them or

talked to them. Don’t talk about your man being broke if you’ve never prayed

for him to get a raise. You can’t just hate and do nothing. If you want a

situation to change, do something about it – prayer is a wonderful place to

begin. You can’t change a man. I can’t even change myself! So why bother

trying? Let me tell you the secret to changing your man. This is what I tell

my married friends. First of all, don’t get annoyed because then you’ll say

things you might regret. Stay calm; this battle is not physical. Don’t waste

your energy nagging him or repeating things he already knows. Just retreat

if you can and find some time to be alone. Go into your prayer closet and

fight like you have never fought before. Pray for two things: a) God, please

change ME, b) God, please change HIM. Someone said don’t win the fight; win

the man.

There’s a lot I’ve said between the lines, and I just hope we’ll all get it.

“True Friends are  rare but they are worth their weight in gold.”

–

“ I have four things to learn in life;

To think clearly without hurry or confusion;

To love everybody sincerely;

To Act in everything with the highest motives;

To trust God unhesitatingly.” Hellen Keller

******

I hope you have enjoyed the read till the end.

Remember that you are who you allow yourself to become.

Yours Truly,

Ayuma.

Facing the dreaded question

“Will you marry me?”

This is a question that most girls grow up longing to be asked one day and well … a question that almost every boy dreads to confess one day.

It is so strange how the sexes have sharply different opinions about marriage from toddler days till adulthood.  I have never understood why males always fear falling in love or always fear the thought of marriage.

Maybe it is all in my bias as a lady to always look at marriage as an interesting part of life.

Today’s story is very entertaining and slightly embarrassing on my part to reveal. But it was going to be revealed at some point in my life anyway.

This is about my very first marriage proposal. Yes, I said it; a marriage proposal.

You will be laughing at the end of this story.

It was a lovely weekday morning in the year 1996. I was 8years old. (Now you all know my age)

Nature was flattering me

The birds were chirping and the frosty morning air was slowly warming up as the sun rose. The flowers in the nearby gardens had just bloomed, perhaps saying a little hello to the golden sun. The leaves were studded with diamond-like dew; maybe a teaser on what was to happen later in the morning. Nature seemed to be flattering me that day.

My father had just walked me to school with my elder sister also gripping his other hand. These were the days when Kenyan roads were swarmed with the famous Nissan Sunny and Toyota Corolla (90s models) and Dad dared to be different (male ego) by saving-up for a new Peugeot model he had fancied even if it meant using public transport (stagecoach buses) for  a little longer.

Oh! The good-old-days…

After our teachers welcomed us to school at the gate, he said a quick hello to the teachers, a quick goodbye to us and rushed for work. Mum was not around as she was a young nurse on night duty and was probably heading home from work at that time.

I was so happy to be reunited with my friends for another day of fun (back when school was fun and not torturous). I headed for class, hugged my friends, we gathered to discuss shows we had watched the day before, and displayed what we had carried for break and booked partners to exchange food with.

Suddenly, things got interesting.

The hunk of the class walked in. Let us call him William. The world seemed to have stopped. Everything went in slow motion. There was a tiny twinkle in his eyes, his smile was so wide and teeth so white, his hair all curly and black and he always smelled so good for his age.

For an eight-year-old this seemed like a fairytale moment. You know the part where he chooses that fair lady to sit next to for the day. Everyday, girls would spruce themselves up just for him. Yes, I admit, me too, but just a little.

I had two close friends and we were always together everywhere. We always ogled at William because he just looked so perfect. After the slow-motion moment for William things went back to normal when his crew of boys followed him into the class.

One of them was a brother to my close friend. They were Sudanese and had lived for quite some time in Kenya after escaping war back in their country.

So the moment came when William chose to pick the table he was to be seated for the day. He chose to sit on table A instead of table B where I was seated with my friends. Sadly, his Sudanese friend had to separate from the crew; let us call him Ding and his sister Dong.

Ding came and sat next to me as I was seated next to his sister and table A was already full.

Then word spread in class through whispers that a boy was to propose to a girl in class that day. Tension filled the air even during the morning class period. Girls tried their best to answer questions whenever the teacher asked any.

Even worse, random strutting out of class to visit the little-girls’-room just to catch the attention of William became the main focus during class and not the teacher.

As soon as the bell rung for break time, tension went up again. Girls gathered to discuss the proposal we had heard about. Only time would tell what was just about to happen.

Tension builds when faced with competition

I think I had a soundtrack in my mind as William slowly walked to my table and reached-out for something in his pocket. My mind went blank and my friends and I fidgeted waiting to see what was about to happen.

William stopped next to me and gave the item to Ding.

More confusion followed.

Then came the moment when William started talking and he said, “Ding has something to say…”

This is the part when the music loses key and stops playing. “Ding?”I said in hesitation. Then came the moment when he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was lost for words…Not!

I felt so cheated and was so annoyed. In my mind I wished that it were a silly boy-joke. I even prayed inside that it were really a joke.

Suddenly, he changed the question and asked for my hand in marriage. He removed something from his pocket and showed me.

A Matchbox!!!!

Who would have thought

As I was still trying to absorb the shock, Ding opened the matchbox and there was a golden ring inside. Everyone was dumbfounded as to what Ding was trying to achieve.

He pulled it out and asked, “Will you marry me?”

What was an eight-year-old girl supposed to say at this point? The answer is quite obvious; No!

Unfortunately for Ding, the teacher walked into class and got wind of the proposal. She told him to show her what he had in his hand and she was shocked that the boy had carried a pure golden ring in a matchbox from home to school. She called him to her office and they stayed there for quite some time. Ding came back sad, his eyes red and teary.

Apparently, the ring was his mother’s and he had stolen it to bring it to school. It was also untoward that his parents came to the teacher’s office and disciplined him for stealing.

Poor boy…

As soon as the teacher came to class, she told me to stand up and sit on table A. She told a certain girl to stand up and replace me on table B. The typical arrangement in Kenyan primary schools at that time was the boy-girl-boy-girl type.

Ding’s day went gloomy and so did his sister’s. Dong later announced that she quit being my friend because I had rejected her brother.

But my day was not over yet…

I was told to sit right next to William for the rest of the day. I was so happy!

The good news is that since that day, we maintained our sitting positions for the rest of the year in school.

Plain Ayuma got cute boy in the end

Simply put; he’s was just a boy and I was just a girl, can I make it any more obvious?

But that story ends there as ladies should not kiss and tell it all…

The moral of the story is that no matter how much you want something, never want it too bad as it will not always turn out as you plan. The best thing is to just expect the best but do not get obsessed in the process.

I was a little girl and much as I knew that I really liked that boy and that there were other prettier girls in the class who William chose to sit next to daily; I did not let obsession get its way. I had to be real and accept the fact that William would only chose one girl that my not be me.

This applies in many areas of life; jobs, relationships and even short-term and long-term life goals. This does not mean that you stop dreaming or expecting the best. Go for the best but control how much time and energy you put into chasing after the best.

The very best is yet to come

Just do your best and let fate take its course. The very best is yet to come…

I just pray that I never see a ring in a matchbox ever!

Yours truly,

Ayuma.

My late grandpa

Yesterday, I went through a rough series of events with my friends. It took me decades back to when my grandfathers were alive and young as they fought so hard for freedom in my country; Kenya.

I never got to see my mother’s father Josphat, but judging from the way my father’s dad Bartholomew, treated me, it would have been the same. It is interesting that I found out that my late grandpa Bartholomew shared and exact birthday date with Nelson Madiba Mandela. So that gives you an idea how long this gentleman walked on this earth.

Yesterday, I finally made sense why at times my grandfather Bartholomew, went silent as he stared into my Bambi eyes as if he had recalled something deep buried in his memory. This man had gone through so much hurt, both physical and emotional as he fought as a soldier to protect this country against colonialist attacks. Half his life was spent on the battlefield as he prayed and hoped that his family back home would be safe under the care of his wife Rhoda and protection from his eldest son, my father Simpson.

Every Sunday morning, after grandma and I made him breakfast, I would run to his house to serve him but he was never inside. I would find him whispering a prayer at the foot of his favorite tree that he called Salome which stood next to a river that streamed through the Kakamega forest. I think that apart from the day my grandma Rhoda passed-on, these mornings of prayer were the only times I got to see my grandfather with a slight hint of weakness. He always stood tough and tall even at his old age.

Grandpa's discussion spot

There’s a day I found him talking to his fellow ex-warrior who happened to be his brother-in-law. The talk seemed too intense and I knew that this little girl was not to interfere. But they called me to join them anyway. Suddenly, their faces that were folded with so much tension softened and beamed when they started speaking to each other in my native language, Luhya. I did not understand a thing they said, but I sure knew that I was the topic of discussion.

I think that it pleased their hearts to know that their long years of fighting for independence were all worth every scar. However, the painful memories of the war somehow remained evident by the look in their eyes. I guess that it is never easy for an indestructible soldier to run away from the human inside him.

Salome at the far end; grandpa's fave tree

These ex-combatants, who with a glance at their little grand-daughter softened up, had a dream that they could see coming to life. A dream that one day their grandchildren would walk the streets of their country without the colour of their skin getting them into trouble. A dream that their granddaughters would confidently run their homes just as grandma Rhoda single-handedly championed. That never again would Kenyan blood ever shed out of hate. Never would racism ever prevail. Never would women be tagged as the weaker sex.

Never again! Never again! Never again!

But yesterday, all these feelings of discrimination hit home when my girlfriends and I were personally served with cruel blows of racism. Who would have thought that after celebrating the wedding day of our friend, a ladies’ evening out to eat would end with scars of racism in our hearts.

Since when did it become a custom for classy-looking ladies with a generous amount of money to spend on themselves, to get tagged as prostitutes? This is what my girlfriends and I were called by some gentlemen at a local restaurant in Nairobi.

We were dressed like we were from a wedding and from the moment we arrived at the venue, we were treated differently and even allocated a secluded table away from the rest of the customers who majority were Caucasian, Indian and Chinese. At first we thought that there must have been a reason for the seclusion and were actually waiting for an explanation.

Sadly, this shifted gear when one of the waiters had a laugh with the lighter-skinned customers discussing how it must be that my friends and I were prostitutes. Our appetites flew out the window as soon as we all tried to digest what we had heard said about us.

WANTED; for having African skin

All that run through my mind were countless questions; what made them think that? Why were we secluded in the first place? Is it wrong for us to spend on ourselves? Why was the lady sitting amongst the gents stomaching that nonsense? Why do I feel like all of my grandpa’s and father’s effort to get me an education and set me apart as a virtuous woman get insulted?

My friends and I tried our best to confront the staff and management at the restaurant but at the end of the day, it seemed that no matter how hard we tried to reason with the management about this issue, all we got was…Nothing!

The (female) director of the restaurant had already promised to take care of our bill as compensation but it changed course when the guards refused to open the gate for us to leave. Also, when the waiter and (male) deputy director followed us to the car park with a bill for us to pay. Let us not forget how they made a scene by shouting at us, “We are busy so you need to pay-up!”

The night ended with the director jumping-ship on us by saying that she had only agreed to pay for the juice as she thought it was the only item we were planning to purchase all evening. Hearing this from a lady made it all worse. How could we have come to such a restaurant, dressed so elegant with lots to talk about all evening, only buy to fruit punch worth Ksh. 130 all evening?

I was disgusted and could not stomach how the air around me suddenly lacked any doze of intelligence. It seemed like I was back in the Stone Age. We paid-up and dashed off to the car as fast as possible and away from the bad glances we got after our painful battle with the racist individuals.

These fellows were ignorant of the fact that they were stepping on the soil that is strengthened by the blood and sweat of our forefathers who fought for the independence of our country.

I found it hard thinking about telling the story to my father who could bring them down with the power of Kenyan and international media. But, I just told it to my mother who knew best how to handle such a situation. It is sad that in one week I could face a series of discrimination because of my gender, age and race in my own country. This is also a reason why I quit my job this week.

I thought about the questions my daughters or sons will ask me one day about this issue and how I would tell them I confronted it.

I would certainly not want to tell them how I kept quiet and did nothing.

I will tell them that I fought hard with the tools I knew best; persuasion, writing and speech.

All these years of education must be used to do something powerful anyway…

My only hope is that this message may at least touch a heart and empower every person who reads this story to never keep quiet but always stand up and fight hard for what they believe in till death do us part. No matter the colour of your skin…

Fight!!!

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Fight for the love of humanity!

Yours truly,

Ayuma.

Ayuma shows her stuff as Shoot director Hiuhu Murimi takes photo

So very sorry for not posting anything last week. It has been a race after job interviews, marketing initiatives, hunger advocacy through music and photo-shoots. Welcome to my CRAZY life!

So I shall not mumble a lot this time round. I shall post you a link that you can look at, get inspired and get marveled.

Beat Hunger With Beats Logo

This week, the New Single, “My Kenyan Friend” was released on Monday 15th August 2011 on soundcloud as an audio piece.

To listen to it, go to:

Latest tracks by Emotion and Music

Later in the day, the first video version of the song with the lyrics was released on the blog:

To watch it, go to:

http://beathungerwithbeats.blogspot.com/

Later on in the week I happened to get a wonderful job interview and even got the job in the same week. Awesome stuff!!! But I have no links or photos to display. But I shall just put this to let you know how I felt…Awesome!!

Happy Ayuma

Then came the weekend and all its randomness. But not as random as I thought because I had planned for this weekend for the last two months.

A photo-shoot that went as smooth as possible.

Just have a little sneak-peak of what went down Yesterday at the photo-shoot. As soon as the final photos are out I shall post them just for you dear reader.

Photoshoot at Kuona Trust Art Center

DESIGNER: Red Gecko, Located at Adams Arcade next to Java.

SHOOT DIRECTOR: Hiuhu Murimi

PHOTOGRAPHERS: Hiuhu Murimi and Paras Gudka (Took photo displayed).

LOCATION: Kuona Trust Art Centre

MODELS: Ayuma Michelle (on photo), Susan Senda, Kevin Michuki, Susan Saina, Esther Neema and Brian Michuki.

To see the sneak-peak, go to :

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.258093067548485.72667.156303127727480

I hope that this week will be as adventurous as ever. Let us see how that goes. I will be sure to let you know.

Yours Truly,

Ayuma.

Rejection is worth every tear

There is beauty in rejection. This is not an easy matter to testify, but with time, experience, and a boost in self-esteem, one can be able to confidently bear witness.

Well, what is rejection?

Let us take a trip down memory lane.

Rejection was when the others never picked you to be part of their team just because they thought you were not good enough.

It was when the friends you thought you had disappeared when trouble hit, just because they do not fancy a little distress.

It was when the job was not given to you, just because you were not from a “prominent background” or that you did not “look as dashing” as they expected.

It was when you were not given the chance to love, just because they felt you were not worth the dare.

Rejection. Rejection. And more REJECTION!

Oh, the horror!

Surely, what good can come out of all these dreadful experiences?

The answer:: “It is what you make of them.”

I kidd you not!

Nobody else will care to know how much they hurt you, how hard it was for you to fit in, how hard you fought to get that job, how much you wanted to feel appreciated.

But all that matters is what lessons you learn from the agonizing incidents.

Let us dive into the colourful side of rejection.

Rejection brings forth so many opportunities for self-improvement.

When one is faced with tribulation and made to feel “not good enough” it is natural to feel stumpy. One is challenged to find some good, no matter how little, just to make-up for all the negativity plunged into their hub of self-confidence.

This may seem so sad, but guess what? It is worth every tear!

If one is made to feel unworthy, this makes one concentrate on making themselves better. One can find themselves paying attention to things that they often took for granted. This may include personal appearance, emotional control, healthy assertiveness in career, and the best is learning to be your best asset and friend.

If you learn to be so comfortable with yourself, you will not feel the need to always have people around you.

If you learn to be your best business asset you will no longer look for employment, but you will learn to be your own boss.

If you learn that what matters is the beauty inside, you will learn how to reflect that externally on your personal presentation. You will not need to have people pick you; instead your confidence will make people want to always be around you.

If you learn that you do not have to make-do with someone’s leftovers of what they call love, you will stop chasing after them and settle for what you really deserve. If they cheat on you, be confident to leave them. If they make you feel less valuable, show them your value by finding someone who understands what your value really is.

Your heart is too wealthy to settle for leftovers.

Don't worry, be happy!

I can confidently tell you that I am a proud and positive product of rejection.

If I had not been rejected, I would not have learned how valuable I am. I would have not gotten the career opportunities that I ended up getting. I would have not learned how to be independent and actually feel comfortable with myself.

I would have not gotten the chance to be friends and actually date some extraordinary gentlemen; including royalty.

Life is really what you make it!

Go ahead and take-on all the rejection and build a positive reaction, a better fate in your life just by believing in yourself.

I believe in you!

You are special, no matter what the negative potatoes out there tell you.

PS: Do follow the links on the photos for more lessons on rejection. I really like the work of the writers.

Yours Truly,

Ayuma.